Homework…

My final first grade year has begun.  Ok, not mine, but these days I feel like I get to experience every little nuance of school with each of my children  Oh how I love the stress of spelling tests, the worry over math homework, trying to remember if it’s PE Day and if we need a water bottle, or school spirit day and need to dig the spirit shirt out of the laundry (yes, it got worn dirty!)…sigh.  School with four is like a marathon that never ends.

So this year, when my first grader started bringing home more homework home than my fifth grader, and the school schedule, homework schedule, after-school activity schedule, planning for the weekend so we can survive the weekend schedule, routine started to get a bit harry, I began to re-evaluate everything.

I just happened to go to a school that did not believe in homework.  I don’t think my first homework assignment (other than finishing classwork that did not get done in class) was assigned until 7th grade and then, it was pretty basic.  It wasn’t until high school that I was rudely introduced to the masochistic love of homework by our public school system.  I’m fairly certain every school board member and district superintendent has, at this point, made the assumption that I failed miserably in high school.  Based on my six-year-old’s homework, it seems obvious the belief is that success is based on the quantity of homework our children do after school.  Shockingly, despite my lack of homework, I was a 4.0 student in high school and managed to complete both a bachelor and master degree.  All without homework as a six-year-old…AMAZING!

By child number four, all I want for him today is more time to be a kid.  To come home from school and be able to play outside with his neighbor friends, go to soccer practice, eat dinner with the family, and burn off some of the endless energy that has been bottled up inside all day long at school.  For this reason I felt compelled to write the following letter to his teacher.  I have spoken with many who feel similarly and hope this letter might be a bit of encouragement for all to stand with me and ask for more for our children.  More time with family, more time to play, more time to be young.  And please, just a little bit less homework!

To my son’s teacher,

I have been debating on sending an email regarding homework.  Mostly because I realize homework policies are not always determined by teachers and are often influenced by the district, the home school, and even other teachers in a particular grade level.  However, I decided to send a note regarding my concerns just so they are on record.  Please feel free to do with this email as you will and please, please  know this is not about you. My son loves being in your class and I couldn’t be happier that he has you as his teacher. 

Here goes…

My opinion regarding homework is simple, there is far too much being assigned for a first grader.  This is not because my first grader cannot get the work done, nor is it because it’s too hard.  The reason has much more to do with my child’s state of mind after a long day at school.  My son is a pretty high energy boy.  I am fairly sure he manages to hold himself together throughout the school day, but by the time he gets home, the kid is burned out.  He does NOT want to sit down and do more school work.  My kid has focused all day, and as far as I know, done a great job at school and he is home and ready for a break.  

For this reason, all efforts to complete homework are ten times more difficult because getting him to sit down and focus on homework is extremely time consuming and not very pleasant. For example, tonight’s homework was to study his spelling words, read his reading group story, practice his SIPPS words, and do his SIPPS lesson work. Notice I did not mention his nightly math/grammar/science page because we have been doing ALL of these on the weekend to lower the amount of work during the week.  Despite that, tonight’s homework was a chore. My son didn’t want to do it and took his time. With constant distractions, whether purposeful or not, it took far longer than necessary to get it done and he wasn’t thrilled about the process. 

I honestly cannot blame him.  At six-years-old he is expected to go to school all day and then come home to a minimum of 3 to 4 homework/reading assignments per night.  Sure these might only take a few minutes a piece, but after a long day of school, that amount of time is quadrupled by his inability to continue to focus.  

The current amount of homework also has a very negative impact on our after school activities.  My son is not an only child, he has three other siblings.  Our family feels after school activities have a very positive affect on our children.  From karate, to soccer, to church, and family activities, we try to help keep our children involved in the community.  However, nights with after school activities provide even more of a challenge to get homework completed.  Because he has three other siblings, we have an after school activity almost every day of the week, which means there is no time to sit around and leisurely do four items of homework.  

So the fact that my kid is burned out by the end of the day and would much prefer to focus on his karate class, is not helping our ability to get the homework done.  Does this mean I should cancel all after school activities for my children since it obviously impedes their ability to do a good job on their homework every night?  My answer is no.  They get far more out of those after school activities than they do out of their homework.  And if the school feels otherwise, then we need to start keeping kids in school until 5pm so they can get all the extra learning in that is apparently needed.

The struggle is real.  I am doing my absolute best to convince my tired, worn out, brain exhausted child, that this homework thing is really important.  That he shouldn’t hate to come home after six hours of school and sit down to do even more school work.  That somehow he should appreciate that this homework assignment is more important than his karate class, or his church group, or dinner with the family to celebrate a birthday.  And yet, I swear I can hear him thinking, as I try to cajole him into doing his work, “Didn’t I just do this at school all day; why am I doing it at home too?”  

My son is in first grade.  If he follows in my footsteps, he has at least 17 more years of school.  I’m fairly certain overwhelming him with homework, and thus school in general, is a pretty terrible way to set him up for two more decades of education.  Am I being a bit dramatic?  Maybe.  But fighting over getting homework done, with a child who is doing excellent in school, at the age of six, seems to be pretty silly to me.

Is some after school work reasonable?  Yes, absolutely.  I want my child to love to read.  We go to the library and pick out books he is interested in and read them before bed (and yes, this is in addition to all that other reading homework).  I want my child to succeed.  If he is struggling in school, I want his teacher to send home work we can practice on so I can help him learn a new concept.  I want my child held accountable.  If my child does not finish his work in class, I expect him to bring it home to get it done before school the next day.  I want my child literate.  Yes, I am ok with practicing site words and spelling words so my child has a strong vocabulary.  However, anything beyond these parameters is really unnecessary and, in my opinion, not beneficial to my child’s education.

Does my son know how I feel about his homework?  Absolutely not!  I am working very hard to keep his homework experience as positive as possible and to teach him to be responsible for completing all assigned tasks. I want him to love school, not hate it. But honestly, I have my work cut out for me.  While I smile and encourage my child to read one more word, and write one more sentence, and do one more math problem, I am hating every moment of his misery. Yes child, I wish you could go outside and play.  Yes child, I know you want to go to karate today.  Yes child, I know you want to help me make dinner…but I’m sorry, homework must come first. 

I realize this is long, and maybe a bit drawn out, but I hope my experience can be shared and maybe, just maybe, pave the way to change. 

Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. 

Laraine

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I am fairly certain this year has given me selective amnesia. I really couldn’t tell you what happened in the first part of the year. I know Brent and Sophia had birthdays and school ended. For some reason I begin to remember bits and pieces around summer. Then again, I’m sure I blocked at least half of that out too. Oh, don’t be tempted to worry too much about me. My survival skills are in place and really, it was a great year…at least I think so ;).

Gabriel started his second year in preschool in August and guess what, he doesn’t cry when I leave him anymore! My uber-attached, somewhat smothering, he’s-too-cute-for-words, youngest child, finally started to grow his independent wings. His flights away from the nest may be short but we are excited to see him thrive in his own skin.

Sophia has been on quite the roller coaster this year. She has been working very hard to get it through our thick skulls that she functions on a different wave length than most of us, and could we please catch up and straighten out the chaos we have submitted her too. Of course the “chaos” was life as a normal child in school. But Sophia has insisted that our “normal” is too constrictive for her and has forced us all to take a step back and re-evaluate. And guess what, she was right! Although she couldn’t put it into words, she helped us find the right place for her this year. After building relationships I never thought I would need with principals, vice principals, speech therapists, psychologists, special education teachers, and don’t forget the teachers themselves, we found a new home for Sophia. Today she attends a different school from her siblings, in special class, that is just right for her. It only took us eleven months. Sorry for the delay sweetheart.

While we struggled to find the right place in the world for Miss Sophia this year, we were blown away by Brent, who showed us that he is just fine. And I mean just that. No special schools, no special classes, no extra time spent on homework, this kid is up to speed and working right alongside his classmates. He didn’t bat an eye when he had to start taking his meds at school and all my fears that he would struggle connecting with the kids in his class were for naught. He is, just fine. In fact, he’s better than fine. With near perfect report cards, Brent is excelling in every area at school. My new problem, how in the world to keep this kid challenged?

Speaking of keeping a kid challenged. We were quite thrilled for Kaden to begin the GATE class this fall. With a unique design and a faster pace, this class has been the best thing ever for Kaden. He loves, LOVES, his teacher and has made a new best friend, whom he walks home with every day. He’s doing great, as usual, but at least I know he’s also being challenged. Additionally, I must add that this kid is the best big brother ever! He has his moments, he is the ultimate negotiator, but overall, his siblings are so lucky to have him. I’m pretty sure they know this too.

As for Orlando and I, well, we survived the year and I think that is quite the accomplishment. Orlando has been our rock, working and playing music and being Dad. I have somehow maintained my sanity, published two more books, had my first book signing, designed and help publish two other books, worked, and played with my kids. I’m still working on figuring out how to add a few more hours to each of my days and promise to share the secret when I find it.

Until next year. May your holidays be filled with love and laughter and your new year filled with hope and excitement for the coming adventure.

Oh Summer!

I remember the anticipation of summer when I was a child.  Summer was more than a date on the calendar, it was a feeling in my bones of freedom, excitement, and fun.  Funny how today I can hardly remember what we did during the summer.  I do remember hours of card games and far too many games of Monopoly to admit out loud.  Summer was fabulous and yet I have no memories of doing anything outside of playing in the yard, around the house, and swimming in the pool.  All I really remember, is summer was fabulous!

Today, I get to see summer through the eyes of my children.  I get to be the full-time parent and caregiver who has the amazing responsibility of managing this special time of year. Quite frankly, I have no idea what I am doing.  I know my children would probably be happy watching TV and and playing video games all day, every day, and yet, I cannot manage to let this happen.  Instead, I have looked far and wide for a variety of activities to keep us busy.  Splash parks, one dollar movies, free bowling and skating, camping and swimming, I have packed the schedule with kid loving activities so they have an amazing summer…and so I don’t lose my mind.

Do not get me wrong, I love my wonderful and amazing children but there are times during the summer where I just want to go to the bathroom unaccompanied, talk on the phone without an entourage, and please dear God, is there any chance I can sit down for more than two minutes?  I am surrounded by constant love and attention and my personal bubble shrinks to the size of a pea.  Our many activities provide some sanity by getting us out of the house, keeping my kids entertained, and by often including visits with other families, which translates to just a bit of adult time for this child-smothered mommy.

While I manage to keep my children having fun and staying safe, I must admit to a complete sacrifice of my own personal time.  Have I written, have I exercised, have I had more than five minutes to myself?  The answer is an unequivocal no.  But hey, school starts in August.  A few more weeks of feeling my arms go flabby, my stories neglected, and just a teeny bit of sanity lost and I will find balance again.  In the mean time, I am trying to focus on the joy of my children as they make memories of summer that will last a lifetime.

 

Acceptance: Balancing life and writing

I recently downloaded the most amazing app!  Of course, when I admit what kind of app has completely made my day, my week, and probably my year, you will laugh.  But that is okay with me.  I am secure enough in my OCD that I can accept my bizarre ways and admit my newest and most amazing app is a to-do list app called Any.do.  This beautiful app allows me to create never ending to-do lists, organizes them by day, checks in with me in the morning and evening to see how I am doing on my list, and reorganizes as needed when things do not get done on time.  Yep, this is my kind of app!

I have this fabulous picture in my head of what being a writer will someday be for me.  I picture myself on the back patio, sitting with my computer as a cool morning breeze blows by, sipping my tea and writing amazing stories.  I imagine the quiet of the morning inspiring me to new create new adventures and provide a calming peace as I edit and rewrite to craft the best stories ever.  It sounds amazing, right?

Then reality sets in and my musing is interrupted by a demand for breakfast, a cry for help, required assistance to finish dressing, and another request to find a missing movie. Nope, peace and quiet are not a reality I will be experiencing any time soon.  So what do I do?  I make lists, and multitask; I carry my iPad around with me and write down snippets of lines that come to me throughout the day.  I wake up at two in the morning with more lines in my head and turn my phone on to add them to my notes.

Quiet moments are stolen.  I put the kids in the bath and sit on my bed for five minutes to read, edit and add to my collection of notes from the day.  I peacefully ignore requests for more toys, more soap, and more water.  Well, somewhat peacefully.  Sometimes I find myself alone in a room during a magical moment when all four of my children are playing together in a different part of the house.  These moments I use wisely and quickly grab my iPad to continue writing.

The peace of a morning breeze and quiet moments do not describe my writing experience, nor quite frankly, do they describe any moment of my life these days.  But I would not trade my noisy house, full of boisterous kids, for silence.  My books will be written with background noise, and lots of it.  I will continue to make my to-do lists to keep my life some-what organized and I will be thankful for the opportunity to be a mom and a writer.

And so it continues…

I am blown away by how quickly time slips through our fingers.  I am reminded every day by the changes in my young children that time is fleeting, these moments will pass by quickly and so very soon become fond memories.  I am shocked and amazed that my last post was the introduction to my first book, There’s a Lump In My Bed.  I thought that surely I had written something since then, no?  I didn’t purposefully forget to write but the muse has been upon me since my last book was published and guess what?  I would like to introduce you to book number two, Dinosaur Dreams!

For those who know me, you are aware that two of my four children are adopted.  In addition, these two lights of my life have been presented with a number of extra hurdles in their young lives and struggle, at times, to simply function like happy kids.  Their special needs have forced us all to grow and become better people in our efforts help them succeed in life.  Dinosaur Dreams is inspired by my adopted son who struggles with social interactions but always has the best Dinosaur growl to offer in greeting.  His love of Dinosaurs is epic and his Dino greeting is quite unforgettable.  As we continue the journey to help him become a successful young man, I dream and pray every day that he will be able to achieve his own dreams, no matter what they may be.

The learning process is never ending.  I felt extremely accomplished having managed to navigate the self publishing arena for There’s a Lump In My Bed, but having completed book number two, I think I might have learned more the second time around.  The first time I quickly made a list of what never to do again, ever.  This time I am happy to say there is actually a new list of what works great and what to focus on for the future.  And yes, there is a future.

The muse hasn’t quit with number two and in fact, number three is already written (assuming I decide not to make 500 more edits 😉 ).  That sounds impressive, I know, but keep in mind the process from written word to finished book might actually be more difficult than writing it in the first place.  Just wish me luck and keep your eyes pealed for some sneak peeks of my newest book written about a topic close to my heart, adoption.

I cannot finish without once again thanking my amazing and fabulous support system.  Thank you to my friends, my wonderful mentors, and my amazing family for supporting me and encouraging me to continue to pursue this new (and continuing) adventure!

Watch for Dinosaur Dreams to make its debut both in paperback and hardback on Amazon.com.

There’s A Lump In My Bed…or maybe four

There’s a lump in my bed, well more accurately four.  They wiggle, they jiggle and they definitely roar.   Making the bed can be quite the challenge with the writhing, laughing lumps under the covers.  But these four lumps are the light of my life and the inspiration for my first children’s book. 

I have been remiss in writing for my blog this year, as I have taken on a different challenge.  Inspired by the never-ending stories I live each day, and my four little lumps, I took my love for writing and rhyming and put it to work.  Although it started as hobby, too many people told me I was crazy not to do something with it.  So I bowed to the pressure and began the long, arduous journey of figuring out how to take my words, and Sandy’s amazing illustrations, and turn them into a book.

Bleed lines, margins, gutter margins, RGB versus CYMK color, .doc versus .html versus .pdf, borders and graphics, Photoshop, Pages, InDesign, Mac versus PC…Oh my goodness I think I fried my brain.  Yep, that has been the process.  Forget writing the book, formatting and publishing the book has been one of the biggest educational challenges I have faced in quite some time.  I know exactly why people hope and pray for a publisher and avoid self-publishing.

But the truth is, no matter how overwhelming the process has been, I have really enjoyed most of it.  In fact, I am looking forward to doing it again and maybe many more times, if I can manage it. 

I am extremely grateful to my wonderful children for all their inspiration, for my patient and always encouraging husband who has believed in me every step of the way, for the editing geniuses Elle and Vicki for reviewing my writing, for my wonderful family and friends who got to see the many versions of my book as it grew and developed into a final product and for the amazing Sandy, whose illustrations brought my story to life in the best way possible.

I suppose I can now say I am officially an author.  The paperback version of There’s A Lump In My Bed is currently available through Amazon.com and my direct sales link through CreateSpace.  I am also working on the hardback version, a much more complicated process, in addition to eBook options.

For anyone who is interested in buying my book, I have included links to my sales pages for easy access.  I am also asking everyone I know who has had the opportunity to read my book, to please leave a positive review on Amazon for future buyers.  I know how much I depend on reviews when I buy online.

In the mean time, I will keep on keeping on.  I will google “How To” questions for book printing by night, chase children during the day, work by morning, and I might even stop to eat and sleep at some point.  Life will never be boring but it sure has been much more exciting since I have pursued life as a children’s book author.

 

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Theres-Lump-In-My-Bed/dp/1492935611/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385955127&sr=8-1&keywords=theres+a+lump+in+my+bed

CreateSpace:

https://www.createspace.com/4475098

 

 

Happy 2013!

We made it!  Yep we did!  2012 was a year of growing up and moving forward, and low and behold, we have arrived on the doorstep of January 1st, 2013 healthy and in one piece.

The biggest 2012 accomplishments:

Potty training!  Thanks to a new medication, Brent was officially potty trained this summer at 4 1/2.  Unsurprising to most of us, Sophia followed right behind him and was potty trained one month later at 3 1/2.  It was a good thing too, since two of the three diaper genies completely gave out (are they really meant to survive three kids in diapers for years on end…probably not!) and another succumbed to Sophia’s  intensive dismantling.  Now Gabriel has a brand new diaper genie all to himself but chances are this little guy will not be left behind for long.  All I have to say is THANK YOU GOD!

School!  My first baby headed off to school ALL DAY this year for 1st grade.  Kaden has done amazing and continues to rise up to the challenges and surpass all milestones.  Brent returned to his last year of Preschool and took Sophia with him.  With medication, Brent has learned so much and will probably begin Kindergarten, next year, ahead of his class.  What a miracle considering his very rough start.  Sophia on the other hand, has struggled all year and we are working diligently to find new ways to help her cope (one such way has been speech therapy).  School for three of my kids has also given me three blessed hours a day with just one child.  While Gabriel loves his Mommy time, I am extremely excited to see how much he wants to be a part of preschool.  Maybe next year big boy!

Therapy & Psychiatry!  Managing Brent’s medication has been a challenge from the beginning.  When everything is working right, he has amazing days but when things begin to fall apart, we have very, very long days.  Since his body continues to grow and change, his medication has to grow and change with him.  This year after much frustration and a bit of desperation, we sought out a Psychiatrist and found a wonderful counseling center.  Not only does Brent now have the benefit of weekly therapy, we also have an amazing Psychiatrist who has given me new hope for Brent’s future medication management.  In addition, after much worry and consideration, we requested a referral for Sophia who is also receiving weekly therapy and seeing the Psychiatrist.  Although it was a very hard decision, Sophia has begun taking medication we hope will help her cope better with school and life in general.  We are continuing to pray hard we have made the right choices for both Brent and Sophia and will continue to pursue whatever help they may need throughout 2013!

Music!  Orlando has been one busy Bass player this year, dedicated to the Worship Team at Citrus Heights Community Church, playing with the CHCC Blues Brothers and branching out into the community with Azuar.  It has been a music-filled year for Orlando, with next year promising to be same.  Orlando could not be more thrilled with the musical opportunities that have presented themselves and has enjoyed every moment diving back into his favorite hobby.  Play on!

Sanity!  While true sanity for a stay-at-home mother of four young children might not be a reality, I have spent 2012 trying to find just a little bit.  Sanity this year has come in two forms, the first bookkeeping.  I know it seems crazing that working is sanity but it really is mine.  I have had the opportunity to work with a few amazing people that have given me the chance to escape Mommy-hood a few hours a week and keep my brain from atrophying.  Thank you Bookkeeping!  Second, to help support the time for bookkeeping, I have hired a wonderful young lady who comes by a couple times a week to chase my crazy children around and help with my oh-so-exciting (wink-wink) and never-ending chores.  She has been a life saver and I cannot begin to say what a difference her help has made to my sanity!

The plan for 2013 is to keep on keeping on.  I am looking forward to new bookkeeping opportunities, some potential kid-free hours in the fall, if Gabriel starts preschool, and lots and lots of great times with my wonderful children.  No matter the crazy that follows me around on a regular basis, I could not be more grateful to be home with my kiddos and thank God every day for this crazy life I lead.  I also must thank the amazing man who  willing shares this adventure and works so hard to make it possible for all of us.

To a new year filled with inspiration, hope, and lots and lots of fun!

The Hutchersons – Laraine, Orlando, Kaden (6), Brent (4), Sophia (3), & Gabriel (2)

No Room For Panic

I must admit, I have been a bit terrified of the quickly approaching summer.  No school and no breaks for mommy, four kids to entertain, all day, every day.  I know, what’s to be scared of right?!  On the up side, I remind myself since last year, Brent has started his medication, Sophia is talking, Gabriel is more independent, and Kaden is becoming a great helper.  There is real hope I might survive.

With these thoughts buoying my newfound courage, I decided to finally brave taking all four kids to the park by myself.  My biggest challenges going to the park revolve around Gabriel’s complete lack of fear and Sophia’s absolute lack of foresight.  I am often torn between keeping Sophia from jumping off the highest part of the play structure, while preventing Gabriel from climbing any further up the side.  Needless to say, doing it by myself has heretofore seemed a bit crazy.  However, with a full summer looming, I put my big girl panties on and made the leap.

I decided to take the kids to one of our local parks that has two small play areas.  My goal was to reduce the distance from the top of the play structure to ground, as much as possible, in case one of my darlings decided to Super Man it over the side.   In addition, I decided to go early and beat the rush, hoping to also eliminate the worry of losing one of them in the crowd.  We arrived at the park at 10:30am on a Saturday morning and I was pleased to discover it was completely empty.  It was perfect.  The kids played together and stayed together.  I was able to keep an eye on all of them without difficulty and found both Sophia and Gabriel able to traverse the ins and outs of the play structures quite safely.  Success right?!

Yep, until I turned my head to coax Sophia back from the swings and heard Kaden start to scream.  Knowing something pretty bad had happened, I did a quick head count, saw Sophia, Gabriel and then found Brent standing next to Kaden as I ascended to the platform of the smallest play structure.  I deduced pretty quickly that Kaden had been climbing on or up the middle pole of the structure (did I mention not five minutes before I told him not to do this?) and had fallen off and hit the back of his head.  When I got to him, I could see the blood pouring down the back of his head onto his shirt.  Kaden had just pulled his hand from the back of his head to find it completely covered in blood and started to really freak out.

These are the moments you never forget.  Standing on top of a play structure at the park with your kid bleeding profusely from a terrifying head wound, looking around you for help and wondering where Mom is to jump in and fix it…And then it hits you like a tons of bricks and you realize, “Oh Crap,” I am the Mom.  In that moment, there was no room for panic.  I instantly went into my calm, we will fix this, mode and got to work.

So there I stood, with blood pouring out of Kaden’s head, wondering what to do first.  At the same time, I was pretty sure Gabriel had just capitalized on my distraction and stolen the car keys from my pocket.  In addition, I had lost sight of Sophia and Brent was looking at me like he might be as traumatized as his big, bleeding brother.  Knowing I needed to stop the bleeding, crossing my fingers that I would be able to track my kids and keys down later, I helped Brent strip off his shirt and used it to staunch the blood.  Using calm words and lots of reassurance, I escorted Kaden and Brent off the play structure to a nearby bench.  I then tracked down Gabriel and Sophia and told everyone we would be going back to the car.  I figured the safest way to get a good look at Kaden’s head would be to get everyone strapped into their car seats where they would be safe and unable to wander off.

Of course, my fabulous park was also the one with a nice long walk from the parking lot to the playground.  We set off with a half naked Brent, a bloody Kaden holding a shirt to his a head, myself attempting to help and carry Gabriel at the same time, and Sophia trying to take off back to the playground.  I made Brent hold Sophia’s hand and finally put a struggling Gabriel on the ground.  At last it felt like we were making progress when Gabriel saw a dog and took off in the opposite direction.  Needless to say, I gave chase and when we eventually made it to the car, I was one happy Mommy.

I strapped Sophia, Gabriel and Brent into their car seats, turned on the movie (thank God for DVD players) and was finally able to focus on Kaden.  After convincing Kaden head wounds bleed a lot, that he had lots of blood in his body, and that his body would make more blood to replace what he lost, I proceeded to clean the blood off our hands and attempted to clean his wound.  Not surprising, considering how much blood he had lost, I determined pretty quickly that we would be visiting a doctor to get this owie fixed.  After a quick ride home, some more head cleaning, lunch, and a call to Daddy and Nana, Kaden and I were headed to the emergency room where he received three staples to close what turned out to be a gaping hole in his head.

One week later, staples removed, the kids and I were back at the park.  No, I did not give in to panic and I refused to give in to fear.  Since then, we have made more than one trip to the park with Mommy by herself.  The good news is, we have not had to visit the emergency room again.  I am thankful every day since, that Kaden’s injury was not worse and that I was able to remain calm in a crazy situation.  Sometimes, when you are the Mom, there is no room for Panic.

The “Five Second Rule”

What is the five second rule?  The concept that a food item can sit in whatever pile of dust and debris and somehow gain more germs over time seems ludicrous.  If I dropped my shirt in a pile of mud, would it really be more muddy five seconds later than the moment it plunged into the mud in the first place?  As a parent of four however, no matter the logic behind the decision, the answer is unequivocally, YES!  Any item coming into contact with the floor is less contaminated within the first five seconds than any amount of time thereafter.

I was told before I became a parent that my concept of the five second rule would evolve with the number of children I had.  At the time, I wondered and worried a bit about this statement since my five second rule was already quite flexible depending on the circumstances.  I was very proud when Kaden was born, that I was able to watch my child eat food from the kitchen floor without completely losing my mind.  In fact, I managed a pretty easygoing acceptance of the chaos of childhood and did not stress too much about the food scavenged from the floor.

Three more children later, I have begun to ponder how my outlook on parenting has morphed with the number of children I have.  I know I have had to worry less about the small stuff and have a much better concept of the big picture and how to achieve it in the most efficient manner possible.  I now understand the value of letting four wiggly children play in the rain, knowing they will be covered in mud by the end, but desperate for the activity that will keep them busy long enough for me to get something equally important accomplished.  This is my new reality.

I love the moments that bring clarity to who you are as a parent, while surprising you at the same time.  During the holiday break, my best friend and her husband brought their brand new two-month-old baby girl for a visit.  Having waited many long, agonizing years to have a baby, you can imagine how overjoyed they have been with their new addition.  This little girl is on the receiving end of so much love and devotion; I am not sure there is a baby more loved in this world.

My friends arrived at my home with their bundle of joy at lunchtime.  I was frantically serving plates, getting refills, and attempting to keep four little children in their chairs, napkins in their laps, bibs on, food on the table, and mouths chewing, with as much organization, and as little chaos as possible.  As I greeted this beautiful baby, I smiled to see her perfect pink dress with matching shoes and bow in her hair.  She was dressed to the nines and nothing about her appearance was left out.  She was absolutely adorable, from the top of her head, to her little toes, she was one put together baby.

Just as I began to oooh and ahhh over this darling baby girl, I was distracted by Gabriel as he began to methodically throw his lunch on the floor (yes, this is his current method of letting us know he is done eating).  I turned quickly to grab his plate and the first thing I noticed was the bib hanging around his neck.  It was pink…and said, “Thank heaven for little girls!”…  I immediately laughed, looked back at my friend’s perfectly dressed baby girl and thought, there was probably no chance this teeny baby would be wearing a blue, “Thank heaven for little boys!” bib anytime in the near future.

Apparently, things do evolve as your family size increases.  Even if I had a pink bib when Kaden was little, I cannot imagine I would have used it.  With Gabriel however, a bib is a bib and color has no affect on its function.  Tellingly, the color of his bib had not crossed my mind until I began comparing him to my friend’s daughter.  I guess things really do evolve with the number of children you have.

I have decided not to look too closely at my current definition of the five second rule.  I think I am a little terrified to find out exactly how long a food item has to be on the floor before I deem it off limits.  Maybe there is such a thing as too much introspection.  In the mean time, I have decided a bit of ignorance will be my bliss.  Today, I have four happy, healthy children who, as far as I can tell, have not been irrevocably damaged by eating food off the floor or wearing the wrong color bib.  Thank God for small favors.

Santa Wears Socks?!

It always warms my heart when my little ones say something so innocent and yet overwhelmingly hilarious at the same time.  I try to remind myself to look at the world through their eyes and always be open to seeing things in new ways.  Their frank view of the world is often much less complicated than their adult counterparts and so much more refreshing for its simplicity.

It touches my heart, even more, to have such moments with Brent, who struggles to communicate and is often wrapped in his own world.  However, every once in a while, Brent reminds me that although he may take his own path, he always has his eye on the rest of us.

This year, Brent was the source of my favorite Christmas “kid” saying.  We have six lovely red and white plush stockings, each with a family member’s name sewn on the top.  We hang them above our fireplace as tradition stipulates but keeping them up there is more complicated in our house than most.  As something new to the room, they are investigated by all, taken down and put back up, filled with toys and treasures, long before Santa visits our home.

One morning, Sophia, the typical culprit, had removed all the stockings and was busily stuffing them full of her stuffed animals.  Brent walked into the room, observed the mess and, with a frown on his face and concern in his voice, called for me.  “Mom, Sophia took Santa’s socks off!”

I must say I grinned when I heard him.  He was so concerned and worried and all I could think of was how adorable he was referring to our stockings as “Santa’s socks”.  And why not, they look just like big socks and we keep them hanging around for Santa, so they obviously belong to him right?!

We have all immensely enjoyed Brent’s innocent exchange of words and, in fact, I am pretty sure we will be hanging “Santa’s Socks” over our fireplace each year from now on.