Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I am fairly certain this year has given me selective amnesia. I really couldn’t tell you what happened in the first part of the year. I know Brent and Sophia had birthdays and school ended. For some reason I begin to remember bits and pieces around summer. Then again, I’m sure I blocked at least half of that out too. Oh, don’t be tempted to worry too much about me. My survival skills are in place and really, it was a great year…at least I think so ;).

Gabriel started his second year in preschool in August and guess what, he doesn’t cry when I leave him anymore! My uber-attached, somewhat smothering, he’s-too-cute-for-words, youngest child, finally started to grow his independent wings. His flights away from the nest may be short but we are excited to see him thrive in his own skin.

Sophia has been on quite the roller coaster this year. She has been working very hard to get it through our thick skulls that she functions on a different wave length than most of us, and could we please catch up and straighten out the chaos we have submitted her too. Of course the “chaos” was life as a normal child in school. But Sophia has insisted that our “normal” is too constrictive for her and has forced us all to take a step back and re-evaluate. And guess what, she was right! Although she couldn’t put it into words, she helped us find the right place for her this year. After building relationships I never thought I would need with principals, vice principals, speech therapists, psychologists, special education teachers, and don’t forget the teachers themselves, we found a new home for Sophia. Today she attends a different school from her siblings, in special class, that is just right for her. It only took us eleven months. Sorry for the delay sweetheart.

While we struggled to find the right place in the world for Miss Sophia this year, we were blown away by Brent, who showed us that he is just fine. And I mean just that. No special schools, no special classes, no extra time spent on homework, this kid is up to speed and working right alongside his classmates. He didn’t bat an eye when he had to start taking his meds at school and all my fears that he would struggle connecting with the kids in his class were for naught. He is, just fine. In fact, he’s better than fine. With near perfect report cards, Brent is excelling in every area at school. My new problem, how in the world to keep this kid challenged?

Speaking of keeping a kid challenged. We were quite thrilled for Kaden to begin the GATE class this fall. With a unique design and a faster pace, this class has been the best thing ever for Kaden. He loves, LOVES, his teacher and has made a new best friend, whom he walks home with every day. He’s doing great, as usual, but at least I know he’s also being challenged. Additionally, I must add that this kid is the best big brother ever! He has his moments, he is the ultimate negotiator, but overall, his siblings are so lucky to have him. I’m pretty sure they know this too.

As for Orlando and I, well, we survived the year and I think that is quite the accomplishment. Orlando has been our rock, working and playing music and being Dad. I have somehow maintained my sanity, published two more books, had my first book signing, designed and help publish two other books, worked, and played with my kids. I’m still working on figuring out how to add a few more hours to each of my days and promise to share the secret when I find it.

Until next year. May your holidays be filled with love and laughter and your new year filled with hope and excitement for the coming adventure.

Oh Summer!

I remember the anticipation of summer when I was a child.  Summer was more than a date on the calendar, it was a feeling in my bones of freedom, excitement, and fun.  Funny how today I can hardly remember what we did during the summer.  I do remember hours of card games and far too many games of Monopoly to admit out loud.  Summer was fabulous and yet I have no memories of doing anything outside of playing in the yard, around the house, and swimming in the pool.  All I really remember, is summer was fabulous!

Today, I get to see summer through the eyes of my children.  I get to be the full-time parent and caregiver who has the amazing responsibility of managing this special time of year. Quite frankly, I have no idea what I am doing.  I know my children would probably be happy watching TV and and playing video games all day, every day, and yet, I cannot manage to let this happen.  Instead, I have looked far and wide for a variety of activities to keep us busy.  Splash parks, one dollar movies, free bowling and skating, camping and swimming, I have packed the schedule with kid loving activities so they have an amazing summer…and so I don’t lose my mind.

Do not get me wrong, I love my wonderful and amazing children but there are times during the summer where I just want to go to the bathroom unaccompanied, talk on the phone without an entourage, and please dear God, is there any chance I can sit down for more than two minutes?  I am surrounded by constant love and attention and my personal bubble shrinks to the size of a pea.  Our many activities provide some sanity by getting us out of the house, keeping my kids entertained, and by often including visits with other families, which translates to just a bit of adult time for this child-smothered mommy.

While I manage to keep my children having fun and staying safe, I must admit to a complete sacrifice of my own personal time.  Have I written, have I exercised, have I had more than five minutes to myself?  The answer is an unequivocal no.  But hey, school starts in August.  A few more weeks of feeling my arms go flabby, my stories neglected, and just a teeny bit of sanity lost and I will find balance again.  In the mean time, I am trying to focus on the joy of my children as they make memories of summer that will last a lifetime.

 

Acceptance: Balancing life and writing

I recently downloaded the most amazing app!  Of course, when I admit what kind of app has completely made my day, my week, and probably my year, you will laugh.  But that is okay with me.  I am secure enough in my OCD that I can accept my bizarre ways and admit my newest and most amazing app is a to-do list app called Any.do.  This beautiful app allows me to create never ending to-do lists, organizes them by day, checks in with me in the morning and evening to see how I am doing on my list, and reorganizes as needed when things do not get done on time.  Yep, this is my kind of app!

I have this fabulous picture in my head of what being a writer will someday be for me.  I picture myself on the back patio, sitting with my computer as a cool morning breeze blows by, sipping my tea and writing amazing stories.  I imagine the quiet of the morning inspiring me to new create new adventures and provide a calming peace as I edit and rewrite to craft the best stories ever.  It sounds amazing, right?

Then reality sets in and my musing is interrupted by a demand for breakfast, a cry for help, required assistance to finish dressing, and another request to find a missing movie. Nope, peace and quiet are not a reality I will be experiencing any time soon.  So what do I do?  I make lists, and multitask; I carry my iPad around with me and write down snippets of lines that come to me throughout the day.  I wake up at two in the morning with more lines in my head and turn my phone on to add them to my notes.

Quiet moments are stolen.  I put the kids in the bath and sit on my bed for five minutes to read, edit and add to my collection of notes from the day.  I peacefully ignore requests for more toys, more soap, and more water.  Well, somewhat peacefully.  Sometimes I find myself alone in a room during a magical moment when all four of my children are playing together in a different part of the house.  These moments I use wisely and quickly grab my iPad to continue writing.

The peace of a morning breeze and quiet moments do not describe my writing experience, nor quite frankly, do they describe any moment of my life these days.  But I would not trade my noisy house, full of boisterous kids, for silence.  My books will be written with background noise, and lots of it.  I will continue to make my to-do lists to keep my life some-what organized and I will be thankful for the opportunity to be a mom and a writer.